Week 6 Class Evaluation

It has been brought to my attention that some of my blog posts have been distinctly longer than average. Fortunately, that will not be the case with this particular post. Firstly, I honestly don't have the time anymore considering all of the semester finals next week that I have to study for. Secondly, this blog post is about how much I liked the class, so I really won't have much to say.

So what did I like about the class? The blogging. I've never blogged before, but I actually find it quite enjoyable. It's a great way to be as cynical as I want without offending the people next to me, and I find great joy in ranting about how much life sucks. But though I normally enjoy blogging, I'm probably going to end up cutting this one short (well, short by my standards anyways) because I've spent almost the entire day writing ~300 vocab notecards for AP Government, as well as the four chapters of vocab for this class, so I'm really not in the mood to do anything other than sleep right now. Or play Pokemon, whichever. I also really liked having Shashank in my class. He is definitely one of the most interesting people that I have had the fortune of meeting, and it is a guilty pleasure of mine to sit in the corner smirking as he drives you up the wall every day. Actually, the other side of the room in general is pretty energetic, to say the least, and though you may not have seen that in class, I can be just as bad, if not worse. Honestly, I probably would have joined along with them had I been sitting on that side. And then I would have had the pleasure of driving you insane. Shame I missed that opportunity. Oh well, maybe next semester in AP Economics.

My favorite activity or project? I'm just going to be lazy and point to the above paragraph since the two questions are pretty similar.

What didn't I like about the class? Oh boy, let's see. I didn't like how half the semester was essentially Biology 2.0. That's not what I signed up for. I mean, sure I do get how all the parts of the brain (and neurons, and the eyes, and the ears, and pretty much every part of the body) and their functions and all that jazz is important to Psychology. But I expected more of the…psychological aspect of things, as opposed to just learning about body parts and how they work. I mean, sure there were plenty of those, but I just thought that there was way too much Bio in there. I find Biology quite boring in all honesty. Dr. Winsor is probably has a PhD in Psychology or something because he is an absolute expert at hypnotism. As soon as he starts that powerpoint up, I develop the most mysterious drowsiness.

What else did I not like? The grammar. I am a grammar Nazi. There, I admit it. It's a really, really big pet peeve of mine when people make major grammatical errors, whether in speech or writing. Do I expect people to be perfect? Of course not! Even I'm not perfect, not even close. But when elementary school level mistakes are made, like using "your" instead of "you're", it really irks me. I stopped correcting you relatively soon into the semester out of respect for you, but it drove me absolutely crazy, especially considering you made at least one grammatical error pretty much every day. I absolutely hate it when people use the excuse "We're not in English class, so there's no need to use perfect grammar." To me, that's like saying, "I'm not in Math class, so why should I remember that 1+1=2?" Because mistakes like using the wrong form of "your" or "there" (among many, many other mistakes) are every bit as elementary in my opinion as messing up a simple addition problem. And in the first place, the whole purpose of any class is for the student to be able to apply it outside of class, so whether or not one uses proper grammar shouldn't have anything to do with whether or not they're in English. I'm sure you would want what you teach me to matter instead of me just walking out of your class and instantly forgetting everything simply because "I'm not in Psychology class right now, so it doesn't matter." I do understand that it's annoying when I correct your grammar though, so I've done my best to restrain myself this semester, instead relying on blogging to vent my frustration.

What do I think you should leave out next year? Just the Biology, really, but as that's part of the curriculum, you can't exactly do that. Nothing, really. I honestly found the class pretty interesting overall. So yay.

So, last question. Do I have any suggestions for next year's class? Make it harder. About it, really.

Well, that turned out longer than I had anticipated, even with me attempting to shorten it. Oh well. Anyways, I really did enjoy the class; it was more fun than I expected when I first signed up. Heck, I may even come back next semester/year when I'm bored and just blog random stuff since I actually had fun doing this whole blogging thing. I'll probably be too lazy, but you never know. Anyways, that just about wraps up this last blog post, so I'll see you tomorrow at school (and then next semester in Eco).

P.S. - Big curve on the final pretty please~

Week 5 Memory Tests

Ok, so I have somewhere around 7 essays I need to write tonight for Powell, several hundred notecards for Stickney, and an AP Bio test to study for tomorrow, among all my other things. And then there's this. Heck, I honestly wouldn't even have remembered this unless my friend reminded me, so I guess my memory isn't all that great, huh? But I guess I'll find out for sure once I take a couple tests.


So I first took the STM Test and scored a 3 out of 12. Big surprise. My memory is honestly pretty far below average. Moving on.

I then took a picture-based STM test and scored a 9 out of 20. Still not that great, but better than the last test, I guess. Bottom line is that I suck with memory.


The third and last test was a completely unbiased (I mean, it's impossible for answers on a multiple choice survey from almost never to almost always to be biased, right?) Psychology Today Test. I ended up scoring a 43 out of 100, which like the other two tests, showed that my memory is pretty poor, which I knew.

Well, I learned absolutely nothing new, so yay for taking away time I could have spent doing my essays, or doing my other homework, or playing 3DS, or sleeping, or anything else really. Kbai.

Week 4 Rudolph the Depressed and Traumatized Reindeer

I've never been fond of blog posts in which we have to use articles and such; I much prefer going freestyle. But, good kid that I am (well, I'm a good kid until after I get my Christmas presents at least), I went and looked for a holiday article to blog about. And I ended up coming across the most amazing article ever, entitled "Rudolph the Depressed and Traumatized Reindeer".

This article was absolutely great. I've never had much of a positive opinion of the holiday season, or of society in general, and this only served to cement that opinion. There's a saying that goes "The nail that sticks out gets hammered down." There really isn't anything good about being special. Being special makes you a target. If you are special in a negative way (like being especially talkative. Now who could that be…), then people like to bully you for it. And if you're special in a positive way, you either have tons of people who are jealous and want to harm you or people who only want to manipulate you to further their own ambitions (think Santa).


I mean, think about it. Rudolph was born with a physical genetic birth defect in the form of a differently colored nose, and this led him to experience a childhood of parental neglect and abuse from his peers. He was pretty much bullied his entire life and had no friends. "All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games." #storyofmylife
"But then one foggy Christmas eve," Santa realized that he wasn't getting anywhere in this weather. But then a lightbulb went off in his head (Shame it wasn't an actual lightbulb; he could've used that)! "I remember there being some poor reindeer out there that I can use!" And so Rudolph finally amounted to something: he could be a pack animal and pull a fat man's sleigh for him. Yippee!

So morals of the story: People are evil and manipulative. There's nothing good about being special (Well not for you anyways. I'm sure it'd be good for someone else). Humans are sadistic creatures. I mean, we made a super happy-go-lucky song about some poor animal being abused for his birth defect all of his life until someone decided he could be useful, so he ended up living out the rest of his life as a tool. Happily ever after, of course. Merry Christmas, everyone!

…I'm hungry. I could sure use some venison right now.

Oh yeah, and before I forget, here's the link to the article. Enjoy!

Rudolph the Depressed and Traumatized Reindeer




This is irrelevant to the post, except for the whole holiday spirit part, but I thought I'd share it anyways.

Week 3 "They Said I Could Be Anything, So I Decided To Be An Idiot"

People tend to do things that make them happy. Sounds obvious, right? I mean, it should be common sense to spend your free time and effort, your blood, sweat, and tears, on something you enjoy doing. Unfortunately, common sense really isn't very common, and what makes people happy usually isn't what's best for them (and vice-versa). Yes, I know that no one really enjoys spending their time doing homework, but if you really stop to think about it, going to school provides you with the education you need to get into college and end up with a decent job. I mean, sure people complain about school and homework, but I'm sure they'd rather not end up as a hobo or as a McDonalds employee. No offense to McDonalds employees though, of course - as far as I know, that could be someone's dream job - or hobos.

In any case, people are dumb. Honestly, we have to be the second most self-destructive species on the planet, with the trophy going to lemmings, delightful little rodents that jump off cliffs in large groups when they migrate as a result of overpopulation.

There's a happy image. Of course, with how fast lemmings reproduce, the death of many, though of course unfortunate, does little to affect the natural order. Oh wait, that sounds familiar! Honestly, humans aren't much better. All we ever seem to think about is sex fornication, which is supported by the fact that the topic seems to come up, in one form or another, in almost every unit of AP Psychology. With all the talk of orgasms and whatnot going on this week along with the slideshows we're subjected to in Health, school-appropriate really isn't appropriate anymore. And yet we aren't allowed to watch anything more graphic than your average Disney movie (and we can't even watch those anymore because of copyright apparently). I will never understand our education system. Then again, if the education system were more sound, there'd probably be more, well, educated people in the world. Now that's a scary thought.

Anyways, I suppose the whole point I wanted to make before I got off topic was that psychology hasn't really done much to answer the one question I really wanted an answer to: why are people so dumb? Why is the human race so self-destructive? Why is it that, unlike most other species whose survival instincts motivate them to act in ways that help them, all of our natural tendencies lead to either self-destruction or the destruction of others. Or both, more likely than not. Except for reproduction, of course. Our survival instincts are pretty darn effective in that regard.

There are a plethora of examples littered throughout this wonderful world that we've been messing up (oh hey, screwing with our environment; that's one example right there). Why is it that most people naturally gravitate towards unhealthy food and treat perfectly healthy vegetables as poison? Why are teenagers so prone to procrastinating, which can lead to low grades to an inability to get into a good college to an inability to acquire a well-paying job which leads to dying a slow and miserable death on the streets (I bet now you wish you had some of that salad)? Why do people smoke and do drugs at all? Why are humans naturally prone to be greedy and selfish, backstabbing little pricks (not 100% related, but I thought I'd throw it in anyways)? Why do we wage wars all the time (I mean, the number one cause of death for people is…people)? Why are people just so dumb in general?

There are simply too many questions out there, and I don't think I'll ever be able to answer a large majority of them. But hey, at least I had fun asking them. Well, I suppose that just about wraps up this blog post, so if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go grab some McDonalds.

Week 2 Life Story

The age-old conundrum: is the cup of water half full or half empty? My question is: why does it matter? Someone's going to end up drinking the water anyways and leave it empty, and why are we so focused on just one cup when there are millions just like it? That's pretty much how I view life. What's the point in typing out my life story when my life is just going to one day end and be forgotten, and why should anyone care about my life when I am no more unique than the other billions of humans wasting space on this planet? In fact, what's the point of anything in life? The only reason I'm typing this out on this blog is to complete an AP Psychology assignment to get a good grade to graduate from high school to go to some mediocre college to get a degree in order to waste the rest of my life away on some monotonous job until I can no longer work and then slowly waste away until the day I die. That is, if I don't die from an accident or disease before then. But for the sake of Psych, I suppose I'll write my life story for the few people who will to read it.

So where to begin? I would start at the beginning except I don't remember anything up until the time I was about 3 and burned down my living room with a candle from my birthday cake. Good times, good times. Kindergarten failed to leave much of an impression on me except for having to sit in time out every day during recess because I talked too much in class. So much for freedom of speech, right? My teachers and classes in elementary school failed to leave much of an impression on me, and the only thing I really remember is recess. For the most part, I was alone throughout elementary school. I talked a lot in class and constantly got in trouble, so no one wanted to associate themselves with me for fear of getting in trouble. I was also considered weird because I never believed in cooties, so the girls thought I was a bit strange while the guys thought I was more than a bit strange. I didn't really have any athletic talents, so I couldn't really play with other kids when they got together for basketball and such, and even when they did, people rarely ever passed to me. There were two kids that I considered friends because they actually talked to me, but it was probably more out of either pity or simple curiosity since they constantly played with each other after school while I just sat at home and read. Finally, they both ended up moving away by the end of elementary school, and I was left completely alone once more. 

In all honesty, middle school probably had the smallest lasting impression on me than any other time of my life. The classes and the teachers were all pretty bland, and really the only thing worth mentioning would be band. I definitely consider joining band in middle school to be a key moment in my life. Through band, I have gained many things including an increased appreciation for instrumental music, something to commit to, and friends. Currently, the vast majority of the music I listen to is instrumental, though you wouldn't be able to tell from my Psych soundtrack since I limited it to two instrumentals for fear of having points taken off for lack of variety. Band also gave me something to devote myself to, and it gave my meaningless life a little more direction. And if nothing, else middle school is when I began to make friends. Well, I suppose that would depend on what one defines us a "friend". After all, is someone truly a friend if they never want to hang out with you, if they're not there for you when you need someone, and when they simply use you for help when it's convenient for them? I suppose it would be more accurate to say that I gained people whom I could talk to, but even that's a significant improvement from earlier in my life. However, there was one person who was an exception to the rule, Lauren. She moved into my neighborhood right next to me during my 6th grade year, and I first met her during the summer. As she was riding her bike around the neighborhood, I was throwing out my newly emptied canister of silly string into the recycling bin near my curb, and I ended up hitting her. Best first impression ever, right? However, rather than just hating me and staying away from me, she went and got her own silly string, and she got me back. We spent most of the summer just having a little war with each other, and we slowly grew to become friends. She is now one of my closest friends, and we can talk to each other about almost anything.

So anyways, now on to high school. Freshman year was a rather rude awakening for me in several ways. For one, I could no longer get away with sleeping in class and not doing homework while still getting an A in my classes like I could in middle school. For another, I realized just how much I still had to improve on as a member of the band. I was the only euphonium player to audition into honor band, so band was quite stressful. Since I was technically first chair, the band director constantly gave me difficult solos meant for upperclassmen (or really just people who could actually play their instrument well), and I struggled to meet his expectations. Other than the increased workload, the classes really weren't worth mentioning in either freshman year or sophomore year. In fact, I'd really rather just wipe the memory of honors Precal and Physics from my mind; those were dark days. The only real good thing that happened sophomore year was that my friend from middle school, Mallory, came into high school that year. Well, I suppose that was somewhat of a double-edged sword. It was nice to finally have a fellow euphonium player with me in band to talk to, but the majority of our talking consisted of arguing with each other over pretty much everything. However, I helped her out through some tough times in middle school (and later on in high school), and as a result, we became close friends. Our current relationship pretty much takes "love-hate" to the next level. Like I said, we argue about virtually everything, and we can really get on each other's nerves. But in the end, we're there for each other when it matters, and I'm really glad she's my friend. As far as classes go, junior year was pretty bad too, especially with Calculus and Chem II being the worst offenders with Sager and Butz not trailing far behind. Junior year was also the time of my first relationship. In all honesty, I'm still not completely sure how this happened, but the short version is that I met a girl named Karen in band. She and I found out that we had a lot in common, and so we began to talk more and more and spend more time together. At one point, she confessed to me that she liked me, and I ended up going out with her. I refuse to go into detail about anything, but long story short, I eventually decided that she just wasn't right for me and that she deserved someone better. I broke up with her, and despite my attempts to apologize, she hasn't spoken to me since, though I honestly can't blame her. Moving on to brighter news, I took 5 AP exams during the second semester and got a score of 5 on all of them except for APUSH. I also took the SAT in January and received a 2130. Not happy with this score, I took it again this year in October and got a 2240, which I suppose, while not what my parents were hoping for, was a reasonable score. For me, the most significant part of junior year was Lauren graduating and going off to college. She has been such a huge part of my life ever since I met her in 6th grade, and it honestly felt like my older sister, and not just another friend, was graduating.

I'm not quite done with senior year yet, so there's a lot I can't really talk about. But overall, I like most of my classes, I suppose. The entire experience is rather bittersweet though. I'm happy that I'm close to graduating and excited to be going into college (though not so excited about writing college essays and getting rejection letters), but at the same time, I don't want to leave behind the friends that I've made (oh yeah, I've made friends in high school. I probably should have mentioned that in the above paragraph somewhere, but whatever). The marching season has also just ended for band, and I was quite morose when I realized that I would never again don the crimson marching uniform and march across the football field. Band has been a large part of my life since middle school, but the end of my career as as musician is approaching.
Another one of the most important parts of my life this year is Kaidy Li, first chair oboist in the band and my girlfriend. I don't intend to go into too much detail since this blog post has dragged on for waaaay too long already (props to you if you even read this far), but I feel like she at least deserves a special mention for loving someone like me and for making this year memorable. One of the hardest parts of graduation will be being separated from her.

Speaking of graduation, if I can at least graduate in Cum Laude (top 15%), my parents would probably be a little disappointed, but I think I would be satisfied. Graduation is probably going to be really bittersweet, as I've mentioned above, with conflicting feelings of excitement at graduating and going off to college and feelings of melancholy from parting ways with friends and family. After graduation, I'm hoping to attend Washington University in St. Louis, but if I'm not accepted there, then I intend to go to UT Austin. I intend to study premed, go to a respectable medical school, and become a doctor like my father. Of course, I want to be optimistic and say that I will marry Kaidy when we're older, but no one knows what the future holds. In any case, I do not intend to marry until I am out of college and medical school. I would like to have two children, and while I would be fine with any gender, I would prefer having at least one daughter. I haven't really thought about names, but I suppose I quite like the names Alice and Lily (no idea why; they just sound nice to me). I intend to go as long as I can before retiring, but when I do, I intend to just spend my time relaxing and spoiling my grandchildren. If possible, I would like to die a peaceful, natural death from old age after living a fulfilling life. Sure, that's how a lot of people want to die, but is that really so bad? I do suppose that going out in a blaze of glory saving a loved one's life wouldn't be too bad either though.

I just realized that by the end of my post, I've ended up on a different note than I started with. Maybe I'm not as cynical as I thought I was; maybe there's hope for me after all. I admit that I've always gone through life with the mindset that no one cares about me and that there's no purpose to life, but maybe that isn't quite true. Upon writing this post, I've realized that there have been people whom I truly care about and that truly care about me. I have friends like Lauren and Mallory who make up a huge part of my life and are irreplaceable. I have friends and family who make my life worth living, and if I can make a difference in someone else's life, if I am also important to people who mean the world to me, then my life has all the purpose in the world.

Soundtrack of Emotions

River Flows in You - Yiruma (Serenity)

Spirited Away Reprise - Joe Hisaishi (Love)

On My Own - Samantha Barks (Grief)

Look Down - Hugh Jackman and Various Artists (Submission)

When Will My Life Begin - Mandy Moore (Anticipation)

Whole New World - Brad Kane and Lea Salonga (Awe)

Pokémon Theme Song - Jason Paige (Optimism)

The Fox - Ylvis (Interest)

I Knew You Were Trouble - Taylor Swift (Remorse)

Reflection - Lea Salonga (Pensiveness)

Week 1 Personality Tests

Over the weekend, I have taken the Jung Typology Test and the Understand Yourself, Find Your Hogwarts House, My Life Goals, and Deal With It tests at http://www.personalitylab.org.

My result for the Jung Typology Test is ESTJ (67% Extraversion, 18% Sensing, 12% Thinking, 1% Judging). Essentially, this means that I am primarily an extravert, I mainly believe in information I sense as opposed to intuition, I think things through logically, and I am on the border between sticking to plans and improvising while leaning slightly towards the former. The results did not really surprise me and more or less told me what I already know, but this also means that I believe the test is valid. If anything surprised me, I suppose it would be that I felt I lie more on the Feeling side rather than Judging, but since I'm pretty much evenly on both sides, it doesn't matter too much. 

For the Understand Yourself test, I received a score of 84 on Extraversion, 42 on Agreeableness, 31 on Conscientiousness, 50 on Neuroticism, and 72 on Openness to Experience. These scores mean that I am very extraverted, less agreeable than most people, even less conscientious, moderately neurotic, and pretty open to new experiences. The high scores on extraversion and openness to experience did not surprise me, and neither did my low score on conscientiousness because of my persistent carelessness. However, I disagree with the score on neuroticism and feel like it should have been lower because while I am frequently depressed, I also am less likely to become aggravated than the average person. Since the test grouped both of those into one group, the result turned out to be slightly balanced, but I think it would have been more accurate if it were split into two groups, one of depression/self-worth and one of response to stimuli. Overall, the test seems to be pretty valid though.

For the Find Your Hogwarts House test, I was sorted into Slytherin with a score of 81, and I had scores of 62 in Gryffindor, 59 in Ravenclaw, and 48 in Hufflepuff. This essentially means that I am highly ambitious and have a slightly shakier moral compass than the average person; these scores also mean that I am relatively brave and smart but not very loyal or compassionate. I disagree with the ambition portion, but I will not deny that I would be more likely to favor Slytherin-esque methods of getting things done than the average person. I also think that my Gryffindor score should be lower because I am not that brave, but I think the Ravenclaw score should be higher because I have a higher opinion of my intelligence than the score denotes. I also don't think the Hufflepuff score should be so low because I believe I am highly loyal to the people I care about, but I cannot deny that my compassion applies only to those I care about. I admittedly do not show much compassion to most other people. Overall, though this test was right on some accounts, I don't believe it is as valid as the first two were.

For the My Life Goals test, I score above average on Financial Success, average on Social Recognition, far below average on Attractiveness, far above average on Affiliation, slightly above average on Community Involvement, above average on Self Acceptance, and above average on Valuing of Intrinsic and Extrinsic Goals. I feel like the names of the categories make the meaning of the scores fairly obvious. I agree with all of these results except for Community Involvement and Self Acceptance; I believe my score for Community Involvement should be exactly average (or maybe even slightly below) because of how little I volunteer while I believe my score for Self Acceptance should actually be below average because of my poor self-esteem. Overall, I feel that this is a valid test.

Finally, for the Deal With It test, I scored 7 on Global Self-Esteem, 54 on Shame-Prone Personality, 52 on Guilt-Prone Personality, and 68 on Pride-Prone Personality. This essentially means that I have poor self-esteem, I am likely to feel guilty and assume responsibility for my mistakes rather than pushing the responsibility onto someone else, and much of my actions can be attributed to my pride. I agree with all of the results. I have already established that I have low self-esteem. Also, while I often assume responsibility for my actions, my pride is responsible for most of that. I assume responsibility, not out of a sense of righteousness, but because it damages my pride as a person to let other people assume responsibility since that implies others are in control of my life.

P.S. - For the few other than Ms. Halfen that actually bother reading this, I apologize for the distinct lack of personality in the wall of text. Maybe the next few posts will be a little more exciting to read…maybe.